1. The Odd Couple
There is something rather wonderful about Walter Matthau's face, don't you think? In this film Matthau plays an unreliable, sardonic, fanny-ratting slob. In other words, he is EXACTLY Miss Underscore's type. He has the disheveled charm of a randy, homeless mongrel. The kind you find rummaging through your bins at midnight. The kind you really should shoo away, but somehow you find yourself stroking tenderly and hand-feeding fillet steak. Of course, you regret it when he pees on the carpet and you find him shagging your favourite Laura Ashley cushion. In short, he is a charming, panama-hat-wearing rogue. A swarthy rogue.
Check out my beloved Walter here in the orginal trailer for the movie.
2. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds: The Boatman's Call
My favourite record of all time. Beautiful, beautiful love songs; it's all terribly romantic in a dark and maudlin way. An ex boyfriend once said Nick Cave songs made him think of me. I was thrilled. Until he added 'Aye, cos you're so fucking MORBID.'
A rather guilty pleasure. It is 50% naff tat (Uri Gellar crystal pendants, slankets, bejewelled Joan Rivers lizard broaches) and 50% divine decadence (Elemis, Bobbi Brown, L'Occitane, Lola Rose, Lulu Guinness). Be warned, it is as addictive as crack.
4. Alex Monroe Jewellery
I wish I was not such a debt-ravaged pauper, I'd adorn myself with Alex Monroe pieces. His jewellery reminds me of the book I Capture the Castle for some reason, it's delicate, romantic, old-fashioned and quintessentially English.
|Chrysanthemum Cluster Ring|
5. Juliette Binoche
I wish I was Juliette Binoche. I'd be able to go make-up free and look ethereal and charming (as opposed to looking like a ruddy-faced dinner lady who'd spent a morning stirring tapioca). I'd be able to drink red wine and float around in unstructured jersey separates. I'd still have tragic love affairs, but I'd channel the pain into my art (as opposed channelling the pain into my arse via Galaxy Bubbles overdosing). She is so beautiful. She is so FRENCH. And let's face it, being French is more glamorous than being Mackem. Of course it is.
Especially the coast; Bamburgh and Alnmouth. It's all very unspoilt and still quite under-appreciated and undiscovered. Imagine the West Country, but without the Range Rovers full of Imogens and Rafes. Imagine eating salty chips with curry sauce, instead of Sagittarian scallops on a bed of edamame bean foam. Just don't all rush there at once please. Especially if you're called Imogen or Rafe.
Lurchers are my favourite kind of dogs. They are tatty (but aristocratic), gentle, graceful and worship their owners with an unyielding devotion.
|Hetty and Cyril|
8. Michael Morpurgo
I love the last half-hour of my school day. I read my class a novel. My author of choice is usually Michael Morpurgo. Even the disengaged, unfocussed and the Ritalin addled seem enthralled by his stories. My personal favourites are Kaspar Prince of Cats (set, in part, on the Titanic) and Born to Run (the story of a racing greyhound).
You can't beat a nice cardigan. Of course, ideally my cardigans would be 50s sexy secretary cashmere by Brora. My reality is a little less Joan from Mad Men and a little more June Whitfield from M&S.
10. My Macbook
My Macbook is in its twilight years. I fear the end is nigh. That depresses me more than I can say, as I know I will never be able to afford another one. I am not sure why I am so poor. The Daily Mail is constantly calling me a 'Public Sector Fat Cat'. I must be doing something wrong with my meagre teacher's salary. I obviously should be drinking champagne out of my solid gold ballet pumps every night.
Anyway, the 'runners up'
- Toast (dripping with butter)
- Miss Marple
- Maine Coon cats
- M&S Kenyan tea bags
- Lily of the Valley
- Dandelion and Burdock
- Swedish Wallander (currently on BBC3)
- Laura Ashley soft furnishings
- Andrea Camilleri
- Fenwicks food hall (Newcastle)
- Afternoon naps