Sunday, 17 October 2010

Miss Underscore - now available for sale on EBAY

This will simply have to be a very quick, lazy, bullet-pointy update. I apologise.

1. My show-down with Pompous Pilate was totally terrifying. The man is an arrogant, defensive, bullying CUNT. I was imprisoned with him for a whole hour, during which time he railed against me for having the temerity to question him. Then, I added paraffin to the fire and mentioned all the union guidelines he was breaking. Dear God. He went bonkers. I remained cool, calm and steely. He lost it. At one point he was blustering about what a 'kind, supportive and inclusive' leader he is. He did this with a straight (if beetrooty) face. It made me wonder how one man can have such a skewed and distorted self image. The man is a bully.

Will my stand make a difference to our workload? Probably not. My fellow Stepfords are all in agreement with me and have been supportive, but I wish they'd also stand up for themselves. I feel like Joan of Arc, tethered to the stake of Pompous's angry megalomania. To be honest, the whole thing has got me down. I think it is time I moved on and found a happier school.

We all have a lesson observation coming up in a couple of weeks. I think I can safely say I can wave goodbye to another 'outstanding' rating.

2. The other School of Hard Knocks event that made me question my future there was a little incident that occurred on Friday. Two mums, off their heads on drugs, kicked the shit out of each other at home-time. Police came, cordoned off the road, tasers were involved. Incredible.

I'd like to work in a school where the headteacher is not such an ignorant despot and where tasers are not needed for parental crowd control. Is that too much to ask?

I am dreading go back there tomorrow. One week till half term. . . .

3. As my finances are so dreadful at the moment I have started to sell some of my jewellery on EBAY. I'm not parting with my most beloved pieces, just things that I don't really wear anymore. I am hoping to raise enough to pay a utility bill and buy a new pair of winter boots. Of course, things are pretty bad here (financially speaking). So, it could be that this week I sell a few Lola Rose necklaces. Next week I may sell kidney or two. By Christmas my whole body could be up for grabs (tragically, though, I fear that the Lola Rose trinkets will fetch more).

In the past, Madam Noir and I have always enjoyed a decadent Christmas shopping trip to Edinburgh. This always includes lunch at the utterly magical, spooky and romantic Witchery restaurant. The long, languid and leisurely lunch is usually followed by a gentle stroll around the darkening, wintry city, shopping for cashmere and Jo Malone perfume. I do love Edinburgh. Madam Noir and I discussed whether we should re-start the Christmas tradition this year. We have made a pact, we both need to try to raise £250 from EBAY sales to fund our trip (cashmere purchases will sadly be limited to gloves this year).

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