Saturday, 2 January 2010

The tragedy of middle-age is that you grow out of it!

OK, so a few days ago I posted some pictures of some pretty, feminine purchases: glittering cocktail rings, sultry red shoes. My shopping today was less Rita Hayworth, more Rita Fairclough. Many of the purchases were inspired by the weather: currently there is a snowy, wet gale raging outside, the wind is howling down the chimney, the window panes are rattling and the pavements are chunky with thick, compacted ice. I am not venturing out again today. Even the dogs seem reluctant to set a paw outside.

So, the purchases today were to soothe and warm old bones.

Arnica Bath Soak and Gel

These are for my aching legs. Teaching is tiring, you never stop and you never sit down. This SBC Arnica range is so soothing and smells deliciously zingy and herbal. An Arnica bath after a long day is healing, comforting bliss.
Quilted coats and sheepskin boots

I know, I know - I should really be wearing a faux mink over a prom dress, but really. I bought this after freezing my arse off during every doggy walk this holiday. I can't cope with being cold any more. At school I am also forced to wait outside with my class until they are collected at home-time. There are many selfish parents who turn up 15/ 20 minutes late EVERY NIGHT. And then they never even apologise! I know I may begin to resemble one of the ladies from Last of the Summer Wine, in my padded anorak (yes, let's put that word out there and deal with it, let's not deal in namby-pamby euphemisms) but I don't care!

Oh, and to just gild the lily that little bit more, I have also bought some cosy sheepskin-lined boots. Molly Sugden is the new Kate Moss!

Emma Bridgewater tray
I adore Emma Bridgewater's new Union Jack range. I have several mugs. This tray was just £4.99. Bargain. Her designs always make me smile. But, how middle-aged is that, getting excited over a tea-tray? I'd also like some matching tea-towels. What is happening to me!!!!

Now, speaking of aging. My dear friend Madam Rouge posted a list on her blog of 50 things to do before you're 40. She only has a few scant days to tick everything off her list, I have several months yet (did I sound smug there Madam R . . oh, I'm sorry).

However, I have a problem with many of the suggestions on that llist - I shall never be arrested (hopefully) and I shall never get a tattoo. Nor do I see why either of those are a positive thing. But most of the things on the list are for rich people, not for lowly teachers. So, I have done my own, pauper's version.

Whaddya think Madam Rouge?

Go inside the Great Pyramid
Watch Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra while wearing heavy kohl eyeliner and holding a cat.

Drive a Ferrari
Drive a Ford Focus with all the windows open

Swim with wild dolphins
Spray paint a few goldfish blue, chuck 'em in the bath.

See the Northern Lights
See the Blackpool Illuminations

Dance with a stranger in a foreign country
Learn Scottish country dancing at your local adult education college. Hell, you could also learn conversational spanish and flower arranging while you're at it.

Watch a lightening storm at sea
Drop your radio into the bath (not whilst you're in it, or you'll never make it to 41)

Hold a tarantula
Catch a house-spider WITHOUT the loo roll (gulp)!

Buy the whole pub a drink
Ditto!!!! (but make it 1 drink between the lot of 'em!)

Visit Paris
Buy some French Onion Cup-a-Soup and drink it listening to Sasha Distel.

Visit 5 capital cities
Watch vintage clips of Judith Charmers on YouTube (that way, why stop at only 5?)

Watch wild whales
Walk on Seaburn beach (for ozone smells) whilst listening to Radiohead on the I-Pod. Thom Yorke's mournful wailing will remind you of the haunting cries of a lovelorn whale.


  1. Mmmmm! Your list, if completed, may take my score up a little but the house spider, Judith Chalmers, Radiohead and French Onion cup-a-soup might be just a little hard to swallow. I have to confess there are many lists on the internet of things to do before you are 40 - I chose the one where I scored the most highly. Obviously activities like bungee jumping, shark wrestling and pole dancing are out of the question. Think I'll have to do some more research!

  2. Ok - I'm seeing what you mean now. Having looked at some more lists of things there are things which are just plain out of the question. Watch the launching of the space shuttle, put your name down to be one of the first space tourists, ride the Trans-Siberian express across Asia, experience weightlessness and, my favourite, grow a beard and keep it for a month! Actually, with 40 just around the corner, perhaps the last is not so hard to achieve!

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