Bits and Pieces

Lurcher Lowdown

Meg has settled in beautifully. She is a quieter, calmer mutt than Hetty. She is also a bit of a loner, she likes to take herself off to a peaceful corner, curl up into a honey-coloured ball and snooze. I've even been able to let her off the lead on our walks, I can trust her to stay close and come back when I call. Overall, she would make a lovely pet for someone. She seems to be quite good with other dogs too. Although, I always have a slight worry that her lurcher hunt and kill instincts will take over when she sees a small dog.

Amazingly, she appears to have Hetty's habit of butter-stealing. Hetty can stealthily lift the lid off the butter dish and silently place it on the bench. She then scoffs the butter within, leaving her with a very greasy beard. I thought this was rather crafty and unique, until I caught Meg doing the exact same thing. Maybe they learn it at Lurcher school: butter thievery 101. Maybe there is a whole degree course in dairy product felonies: Dairy Lea delinquency, margarine misdemeanours, custard criminality.

Oh, and she has also managed to steal a whole plate of bran muffins (about 6 to be exact). I am not looking forward to dealing with the after-effects of that high-fibre repast. That was a crime worthy of the pink panther. She had to open a cake-tin to do it.

Anyway, she is a happy dog now. She has started to wag her tail, something most dogs do constantly, but it is something that takes a while for a rescue dog to do. It is quite moving to see.

Coco Before Chanel

Or is it Chanel Before Coco? Maybe the former, the latter sounds like the night-time regime of an OAP sexpot (Joan Bakewell maybe). Madam Noir and I are sashaying to the Tyneside Cinema to see it tomorrow. I love Audrey Tatou. How come French girls always seems so effortlessly chic and enchanting? Is it just the allure of the foreign? If Audrey Tatou visited a Northern council estate would be enthralled by its unfamiliar elan?

'zut alors! These girls with ze orange skin and ze shell suits are tres, tres chic. Pyjamas in ze daytime, tres, tres jolie!'

Hmmmn. I doubt it.

So, with any luck tomorrow we will also indulge in cheese on toast at the Tyneside Cafe. I despise this obsession with tough, dry and overpriced paninis. Give me a pot of tea, bubbly, orange, cheese on toast (which at the Tyneside comes with a little pot of divine tomato chutney) and I am in heaven.

We are also, at some point, indulging in a Bobbi Brown make-over. I am quite thrilled at the thought. I am very attached to my own make-up techniques, I am loathe to admit someone else could do 'me' better.

Miss Underscore's current look:

• pale, luminous skin (although, after all these lurcher walks, I am in fact TANNED . . . the horror!!)
• retro, feline black eyeliner, and rather a lot of it
• rosy, flushed, pink blusher
• long, long, long lashes (I do not believe in subtle mascara)
• shimmery eyeshadow (Bobbi Brown shimmer eyeshadows are beautiful)
• berry- brown lipstick (not gloss)

But, I am willing to be re-invented. As it is Bobbi Brown, the epitome of subtle, understated glamour, I feel quite comfortable. I am sure I will not be turned into mahogany skinned, gloopy lipped Jordan.