Every Stepford at the School of Hard Knocks has to choose a piece of music for our school assemblies. Our chosen track is played, on a rota, as children enter and leave the auditorium. The intention is that our children are exposed to a wide range of musical genres and styles. However, despite all the worthy classical, jazz and opera choices this year, the kids' overwhelming favourite was I'm in the Mood for Dancing' by The Nolans. This jaunty number was chosen by Pompous Pilate's Year 2 fluffer, providing compelling evidence that the bimbette's taste in music is just as vomitrocious as her taste in men.
This year I forgot to submit my chosen piece (a sombre and melancholic Michael Nyman track from one of my favourite sombre and melancholic films, The End of the Affair). A fellow Stepford chose for me, so whenever it is 'my week' we listen to Goldfrapp, Little Bird. Not a bad choice, as I love Goldfrapp. Since the arrival of Pompous Pilate it is all academic anyway. The despotic, power-crazed buffoon strides into assembly and snatches the remote control (why are all men such total cliches?) He then proceeds to forward the CD his own musical choice. I know you are wondering what his choice is, no, it is not Loser by Beck or even Creep by Radiohead. It is something pretentious and operatic. I don't buy it actually, he has the look of a man who listens those 'Dad Rocks' CDs produced for Fathers' Day. You know the ones, full of Status Quo and ZZ Top.
The time has come for us to choose our theme for the coming academic year. I walked Hetty along the beach today, listening to my i-pod, trying to identify a track that captures up my feelings towards Pompous Pilate and the School of Hard Knocks. I just couldn't decide. Eventually I resolved to leave it to fate and let the capricious genie of the i-Pod shuffle choose. Whichever track came up next would be my selection. Oh my lord. It really couldn't be more perfect.
Miss Underscore's choice for the S.O.H.K. 2009-2010 assemblies? The Fun Boy Three: The Lunatics Have Taken Over the Asylum.